1. Building Trust
The reality is, you don't know me. So why would you tell me anything personal about yourself? You won't, until you believe I'm someone you can trust. Without this platform, nothing good is going to happen.
So in SESSION 1, I'll get a feel for what you're going through while you'll do your own reading of me. If the connection seems good, we'll carry on with subsequent sessions. If it doesn't feel right, we won't. The most important thing is this: you have to feel comfortable.
2. In-depth exploration
This is where we define the problem. The problem may be as simple as you see it in your head. But don't be surprised if there are one or two things that lie behind the difficulties. That's not code for "Tell me about your mother." It just means that human beings are complex, and that our problems are often the result of a range of seemingly unrelated falling dominos.
Whether straightforward or tangled, we need to accurately understand the things that are piling pressure on you. If we can define the problem, we can fix it.
Things we could look at include: work, home, education, identifying triggers, issues of timing, environmental factors, stress levels.
3. Commitment to action
Getting results relies on setting appropriate and realistic goals. You you run a business so you know this better than most. Even so, it still surprises me how many intelligent and successful people fail to do CHANGE 101 when it comes to their personal lives.
So you and I will make sure we set specific targets = actions we both agree that (a) you can achieve, and (b) you will commit to doing. If we do this bit right, you will make progress. If you don't take the actions seriously, we'll be wasting each other's time. Let's do OPTION A.
4. Evaluating progress
Again, this seems like bulk standard psychology (it is), but it works. The reason we check in and assess things is because you'll be trying to make changes in a messy world. Other people and other factors won't cooperate. Heck, even YOU won't cooperate at times.
After we look at what worked and what didn't, we'll adjust the plan. This is crucial. You absolutely MUST have the feeling of progress and hope. You'll get both over time, but in weeks when progress seems to have slipped, you'll still need a sense that things can be different next week. That's my job - to help you make adjustments and feel good about taking them on.
5. Maintenance
Here's a psychological quirk: the most likely time for regression is just after the most important progress has been made. Why would that be? Because humans tend to think "I'm different" before actual change has been bedded in. So they stop working. It's the psychological equivalent of stopping with the antibiotics when you feel better, rather than taking the meds until the prescription is completed.
That's when the problems comes back.
I won't let that happen. To bring you all the way through, we'll work on a maintenance programme to turn new actions into habits. Here's another way to look at it: all big changes work through four stages:
- Unconscious incompetence: you're bad but you don't know it
- Conscious incompetence: you're bad and now you can see it happening
- Conscious competence: you're better, but it requires you staying alert and focused
- Unconscious competence: you're doing all the right things without even thinking about it
#3 is the danger zone. Maintenance is my way of bringing you all the way to #4.
6. Wrapping up
This is where we agree that good things have been achieved and that you no longer need me to keep them going. It's my favourite session (not cause I see the back of you, but because you're in a better place).
There's one final thing we'll cover: making sure you're okay to get back in touch if find yourself in need of a ZOOM MENTAL TOP UP. Hopefully you wont, but it's good to know I'm here.